Yes you’ve read right and no I’m not talking about the Bebe Rexha song, I’m talking about me… Ney. I’m a mess in every sense of that word.
I guess I should elaborate on the title, so here goes:
I’m a mess because I use my health as an excuse for pretty much anything.
I’m a mess because I let my anxiety get the best of me sometimes.
I’m a mess because I’m scared AF to try new things, get out of my comfort zone.
I’m a mess because I overanalyse everything.
I’m a mess because I still try to make others happy instead of working on myself.
I’m a mess because I might be suffering from depression.
I’m a mess because I need pills to sleep
The list goes on, really, but that’s the few things that have been at the front line, but I guess at the end of the day, I have to accept that I’m only human and take it one step at a time. It has taken me a few months to realise that maybe the problems I have are deeper than what I’d like it to be.
Now some of you (probably family) will ask why I’m sharing such personal things on the internet of all things, the truth is I promised myself I will always be honest on this blog, whether it hurts or not, maybe someone out there had to read this and know you’re not alone.
I feel like shit most days, but I try to focus on the little happy moments in life and taking it one step at a time.